The Northman
(sung to 'The Scotsman' by Brian Bowers)

Well, A Rekus clad in kilt left a bar one evenin' fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share
He stumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring-ding Diddle-iddle Hie-dee-hoe, Ring-die Diddly-hie-ho
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

Aboot that time a young an' lovely Lacka happened by
And whispered to herself, with a twinkle in her eye
"See yon sleeping Northman, so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt..."
Ring-ding Diddle-iddle Hie-dee-hoe, Ring-die Diddly-hie-ho
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

She crept up on that sleeping Northman quite as could be
And lifted up his kilt aboot an inch so she could see
And there, behold, for her to view beneath his Northman skirt
Was nothin' more than Rallos had blessed him with upon his birth
Ring-ding Diddle-iddle Hie-dee-hoe, Ring-die Diddly-hie-ho
Was nothin' more than Rallos had bessed him with upon his birth

She marvelled for a moment then she said, "I must be gone"
I'll leave a present for my friend before I move along
As a gift she left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star that Rekus' kilt did lift and show
Ring-ding Diddle-iddle Hie-dee-hoe, Ring-die Diddly-hie-ho
Around the bonnie star that Rekus' kilt did lift and show

Well Rekus woke ta nature's call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to whats before his eyes
"Ach, lad I don't know where yeh've been but I see yeh won first prize!"
Ring-ding Diddle-iddle Hie-dee-hoe, Ring-die Diddly-hie-ho
Lad I don't know where yeh've been but I see ye won first prize!!!